50 Greatest Guy Moments
50 Boris
Yeltsin is caught wasted on German TVafter chugging champagne with Helmut Kohl, the rosy-faced Russkie
snatches the baton from the
conductor of a police band and leads a march to Berlin's city hall.
49 GI Joe is invented. Three words: kung
fu grip.
48 Letterman puts on a Velcro suit and then jumps onto a cloth wall
47 Phoebe Cates exits the pool in Fast
Times.Overheard on the set that day: Judge Reinhold saying, "I'm sorry, but I
still don't think my face was right. Can we do the scene one more time"
46 Bruce Lee battles Kareem
Abdul-Jabbar.For five minutes in Game of Death, the two coolest guys to walk the
earth fight to the death. Soon afterward, Lee actually dies.
45 Evel Knievel tries to jump Snake River Canyon.Unfortunately, the parachute in his Sky-Cycle X-2 opens a little prematurely and Evel floats into the 1,700-foot-wide canyon sans rocket.
44 Animal House premieres. Writes one
critic from the Washington Post:"Appropriate to its title, the film rambles
about like a mongrel in the back alley, sniffing here and there"
43 Babylonians invent beer on
42 Nirvana?s Smells Like Teen Spirit
is released. All of a sudden, it?s cool not to shave or shower for five
days.
41 The first riding mower is invented.
Drinking while mulching becomes possible.
40 Princess Leia wears that bronze bikini in Return of the Jedi
39 Ozzy Osbourne bites off the head of
a bat He then rushes to the hospital for tetanus and rabies shots.
True.
38 The Hooters chain opens in 1983.
37 D Day.The biggest villain of the
20th century gets his ass handed to him by a bunch of American teenagers. Der
Fuhrer books reservations in the bunker.
36 Fan Man drops in on a boxing match
using his trademark fan-powered parachute, Jim Miller lands on the Riddick Bowe
and Evander Holyfield fight in
35 The master of my domain Seinfeld
episode airs. It makes "grooming the Wookie" acceptable watercooler
chatter.
34 Dock Ellis pitches a no-hitter on
acid. I took the acid at
33 PlayStation is invented. Guys can
now become world-class athletes without leaving the house or the
couch.
32 Old Yeller gets whacked. ?Daddy, why did the doggie have to-? ?Hush, son. Dad?s got something in his eye."
31 President Bush blows chunks in
30 The first pizza is delivered in
1889 The lucky recipient: Queen Margherita of
29 Broadway Joe Namath guarantees
Super Bowl III win But he fails to predict how bad he?ll suck as an
actor.
28
27 Beastie Boys ?Fight for Your Right
(to Party)? video airs. Finally, a political cause we can really rally behind.
26 Dan Quayle spells potato with an E
And when he tries to run for president, we all vote ?noe.?
25 Wilt Chamberlain scores 100 points in a game That?s one point for every 2,000 women he slept with.
24 Michael Jackson?s afro gets torched. While filming
a Pepsi ad in 1984, the king of pop nearly beats it after a smoke-effects
machine blows up. Good thing his new face is flame-retardant.
23 The first
22 Mike Tyson bites off Holyfield?s ear. Tastes like sweaty chicken.
21 Jenny McCarthy appears out of
freakin nowhere on Singled Out. Finally,
a hot girl who we could be on
farting terms with.
20 Boston Red Sox's Bill Buckner lets
the Series lead go between his legs It?s a 2 mph grounder hit by the Mets.
Mookie Wilson. Buckner goes left; the ball goes right. Game over. Our apologies
to Bosox fans, but that shit is too funny.
19 Man invents fire in 1,418,000 B.C.
and goes on to invent the Weber Genesis Platinum Grill in 2000 A.D.
18 Ric Ocasek nails Paulina Porizkova.
He gives a shining ray of hope to pasty, pockmarked beanpoles
everywhere.
17 Bill Clinton claims blow jobs
aren?t sexual relations, giving us that legal loophole we?d all been looking
for.
16 Ali Landry?s Doritos ad airs during Super Bowl XXXII. Afterward, she says, ?I?ve had chips thrown at me, like I could catch them!? Well, she is all that"
15 Robert Plant meets Jimmy Page.
Unfortunately, a few years later, Jimmy Page meets Puff Daddy.
14 The Tommy and Pamela Lee video
surfaces Two thumbs way up!
13 Muhammad Ali fights wrestler
Antonio Inoki. In a 15-round bout that is supposed to settle who is king of the
ring, Inoki spends 15 rounds on his back, kicking Ali in the shins. Float like a
butterfly, fight like a girl. The fight ends in a draw.
12 Joe Pesci stars in GoodFellas. ?I?m funny, how Funny like a clown, I?m here to fuckin amuse you.?
11 Moses parts the
10 Geraldo Rivera gets his bugle
busted on national TV. Before Jerry
Springer puts us on a first-name basis with
biggest pay-per-view event in history had
we only known in advance.
9 The bikini is invented in 1946. No
model will wear it, so French designer Louis Reard has to hire a stripper to
introduce it at a fashion show. The
8 The 1980
7 ?Me So Horny? video debuts Finally, a song that expresses man?s journey to discover inner peace.
6 The O.J. car chase. Ford Bronco
sales go up 25 percent in the following three months. No joke.
5 Homer Simpson sells his soul to the
devil for a doughnut. Homer: ?Hey, wait. If I don?t finish this last bite, you
don?t get my soul, do you? Satan: ?Well, technically, no, but? Homer [singing]:
?I?m smarter than the Devil!?
4 Prohibition is repealed.
3 President Reagan jokingly kicks off
nuclear war. While testing his microphone, he deadpans, ?I?ve signed legislation
that will outlaw
2 Astronaut Alan Shepard plays golf on
the moon. Because in space, nobody can hear you scream: ?Shit! I double-bogeyed
on a mulligan!?
1 Alyssa Milano is born on
And...the 5 WORST GUY MOMENTS Events
we?ve all tried to erase from our memories.
5 Lilith Fair debuts And our stock in
Bic Lady Shavers plummets.
4 Oprah premieres Women get a national
forum to talk to one another about what their guys do
wrong. Suddenly, if
you ain?t Alan Alda, you?re Howard Stern.
3 Theismann?s leg snaps in two places
Sweet mother of God! Don?t even talk about it
2 Yoko meets the Beatles . Shorty thereafter, the Beatles split, Paul forms Wings and pens the dentist-waiting-room classic ?Silly Love Songs.?
1
John