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Cajun Jokes


CAJUN AIRLINES
Pierre and Boudreaux was flying Cajun Airlines to da Mardi Gras. Boudreaux was flying da plane, and Pierre was in da back foolin wit da cargo equipment an stuff. Da plane hit some turbulence an started bouncin around an Boudreaux got knock unconscious. Den da plane start driftin. Pierre come run up to da front an Boudreaux was sprawl out over da steerin wheel. Well, Pierre don't know nutin bout flyin an he start to get panaky. He grab da microphone and holla "May Day! May Day! Dis is Cajun Air Line 90210. Boudreaux, him knock unconscious an I don know nutin about flyin dis plane!"  "Dis is da control tower," someone answer. "Don you worry about nutin. We gonna splain how you to land dis plane, step by step, ah gar-own-tee! Jus leave anyting ta us. Fus, how high you are an whas you position?" Pierre thought a minute, den say, "I'm five foot ten an I'm all da way to da front of da plane." "No! No!" answer da tower. "What you altitude an where you location?"  Pierre say, "Man ah got a po attitude, an I'm from Thibodeaux!" "No! No! No!" came an exasperated voice. "Ah needs to know how many feet you got off da groun an how you plane in relation to da airport!" Pierre, he start to panic by dis time. He say, "Countin Boudreaux's an mine, we got four feet off da groun an I don believe dis plane related to you airport!" A long pause ---- de silence was deafenin. "We needs to know  who you next of kin..."



CAJUN MATH TEST
Boudreaux wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" Boudreaux says, "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks? "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says Boudreaux . "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." Boudreaux stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" Boudreaux leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred." "So, when I start?"



BUBBA AND RAY
Bubba and Ray (Red Neck mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing. We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."   The blond took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Bubba and Junior are currently doing government work supervising the reconstruction of those New Orleans Levees



BOUDREAUX CRUISE LINES
Boudreaux walked out to the dock, only to find a beautiful blonde woman, standing there, crying. He said, "Mais cher, what's wrong?" She said, "I don't have anything to live for. I'm gonna throw myself into the water and kill myself." Boudreaux said, "Oh, don' do dat. You're a beautiful woman and you have plenty to live for, Tell you what. I'm gettin' ready to get on dis boat and go to Europe. I'll sneak you on and will take care of you and we can be happy together." So, Boudreaux snuck his stowaway on board, and hid her in a lifeboat. For weeks, every day he would take her 3 square meals, making sure she was taken care of, and every night he would slip into the lifeboat with her and they would make mad passionate love. One day, the Captain discovered the woman, and asked her what she was doing there. She answered, "One of your crew members, a wonderful man, has been taking care of me, feeding me, and making love to me and hes taking me to Europe with him on this boat. The Captain replied, "Cher, I'm sorry to tell you, but this is the Chalmette  ferry."   



BOUDREAUX GOES FISHIN'
Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him had a real good grip on his haid, yeh!

Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his baitcan. Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp. Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes back to fishin'.

A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was with two more frogs .



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