In a hostage situation you are likely to
be released first.
It's harder and harder for sexual
harassment charges to stick.
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.
No one expects you to run into a
People no longer view you as a
There's nothing left to learn the hard
Things you buy now won't wear out.
can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch
You constantly talk about the price of
You enjoy hearing about other people's
You get into a heated argument about
You got cable for the weather
You have a party and the neighbors don't even
You no longer think of speed limits as a
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no
matter who walks into the room.
You send money to
Your back goes out more than you do.
ears are hairier than your head.
Your eyes won't get
Your investment in health insurance is
finally beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more
accurate than the National Weather Service.
secrets are safe with your friends because they
Your supply of brain
cells is finally down to a manageable