You May Be A Redneck If...

You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer
appreciation suppers, and vacations.

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before
your wife would let you in the house.

You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and
yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's

You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of

You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.

You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your

You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.

You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples

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