"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among
these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool
with a rope." Camille
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for
incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men
can fake a whole relationship." Sharon
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball
is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like
black pimps." Tiger
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me
a son-of-a-bitch." Jack
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he
parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter
how bad it is." Barbara Bush
"Ah, yes, divorce, from Latin meaning to rip
out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just
need a place." Billy
"According to a new survey, women say they
feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too
judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are
reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the
"There's very little advice in men's
magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me
somebody naked'." Jerry
"See, the problem is that God gives men a
brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've
forgotten who ties up whom." Joan
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful
and natural experiences money can buy."
" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in
school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every
day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later
" Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same." Oscar
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no
intention of getting married." George