following are real ads-classified and
newspapers across the U.S.
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. - 8 years old. Hateful little
FREE PUPPIES - 1/2
Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
FREE PUPPIES. -
Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog
... . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE
DOG. - Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR
SALE . Worn once by mistake.... Call Veronica
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
- Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent
condition. $200 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last
month. Wife knows everything
one can of pork and beans with purchase of three bedroom, two bath
American flag, 60 stars. Pole included,
washer, $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom
kitten for sale. Two cents or best offer.
puppies. Part German Shepherd, part dog.
Whirlpool built-in oven-frost-free.
Full-sized mattress. 20-year warranty. Like new. Slight
Wars Job of the Hut, $15.
Me Elmo. New in box. Hardly tickled, $700.
Toyota Hunchback, $2,000.
somebody to go back in time with. This is not a joke. You'll get
paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not
guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
Free-farm kittens, ready to eat.
cat. Last seen at the Park County Rod & Gun Club shooting
Street Pizza: We deliver, or pick up.
all your weight, only $49.
track, $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.
Exercise equipment: queen size mattress and box springs,
Yorkshire terrier. Eight years old. Hateful little
sale by owner. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer
needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows
man, seven women hot tub. $850 or best offer.
me Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 mustang, 5L, auto,
peaches. California grown, 89 cents per pound.
blower for sale. Only used on snowy days.
shepherd, 85 lbs., neutered. Speaks German.
calves never bred. Also one gay bull for sale.
Found—dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile.
Better be reward.
septic cleaning. We haul American-made products.
house. Body shapers toning salon. Free coffee and
puppies. Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbor's
Shakespeare's Pizza. Free chopsticks.
parachute—never opened. Used once.
nudist colony. Must sell washer and dryer, $300.
sofa seats the whole mob and it's made of 100 percent Italian
of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit-sharing and
flexible hours. Starting pay, $7-9 per hour.
puppies—part German shepherd, part stupid dog.
Hummels—largest selection ever. If it's in stock, we have
small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the
superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by
waitresses in appetizing forms.
Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children
sale—an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large
sale—a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie
chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
take home, too.
50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make
it really repellent.
sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
sale—eight puppies from a German shepherd and an Alaskan
Dames for sale.
several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for
charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last
sale—eats anything and is fond of children.
Vacation special—have your home exterminated.
think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis
Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain,
Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim
in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and
other athletic facilities.
of aunts—Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Toaster—a gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.
stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots
of women wear nothing else.
up and save. Limit: one.
regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
build bodies that last a lifetime.
the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and
rent—six-room hated apartment.
honest. Will take anything.
Wanted—chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month.
Wanted—part-time married girls for soda fountain in
wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
cars—why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here
Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find
Wanted—hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Wanted—man to take care of cow that does not smoke or
3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience
experienced mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and
bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll
never go anywhere again.
ladies blouses. Fifty percent off!
Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite
Wanted—preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food
business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross
Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general
housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of
bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient
Mother's helper—peasant working conditions.
Semi-annual after-Christmas Sale.
now, the Superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,
oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
female Boston terrier puppies, seven wks. old, perfect markings,
555-1234. Leave mess.
Wanted—unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at