40 Questions

1. Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?

2. Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?

3. How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

4. When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'.

5. Are one-handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?

6. How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?

7. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

8. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

9. Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

10. If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

11. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

12. If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

13. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

14. What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

15. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

16. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

17. If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?

18. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

19. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

20. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

21. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

22. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

23. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

24. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in ... what happens

to the other penny?

25. Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?

26. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

27. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

28. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

29. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

30. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

31. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

32. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

33. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

2 of 2 AVS/drc

34. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

35. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

36. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

37. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it

dawned on me . .they're cramming for their final exam.

38. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do

Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

39. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to

them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them

while they deliver the mail?

40. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?